Thursday, January 21, 2016




1.    likely to occur at any moment; impending:
Her death is imminent.

Hospice defines her as imminent when the nurse comes to visit today. I sit beside her watching her breathe. Her breathing has slowed now, and I look at her staring with that gut-wrenching, heart-sinking feeling wondering when the next breath will come, worried it was her last, will she breathe?..................she breathes, thank God. 
She was too tired to get her shower and didn't even want the nurse and I to clean her wounds today. Some friends came to visit too, they were touching her and talking to her for quite awhile and she did not acknowledge them. As they prepared their rosary's and to read the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, they said to her "Kristine, we would like to pray with you now". She nodded her head and profoundly said "okay". I can't explain how I felt in that moment, other than emotional, my eyes swelled with tears and I looked at her loving every inch of her and being so thankful for that moment. I could feel the peace enter her body.
I added that photo I found to my night stand today. She's beside Nana now and I can imagine her actually being beside Nana soon, smiling and looking over me from heaven and from my night stand. I am so blessed to have known and to have been raised by these beautiful women.

I went yesterday to the funeral home and finalized all of her arrangements. I thought it would be easier now than once she is gone. It's funny how some things happen and you can just tell it is meant to be. I was looking through prayers and I asked "what if I want to pick a different scripture or write a custom prayer", they told me that would be fine. Then I found the perfect prayer and I didn't need to look any longer - Come To Me it was called - perfect.. I walked over to the vaults and there was a beautiful baby pink one, I said "that's the one". "Are you sure" he said, "absolutely". 

I no longer pray for a miracle, I pray for peace and comfort. 


  1. Ashley,
    We love you very much! Your words are so touching. I cannot begin to imagine how much you have been through. Please let us know if there is anything Stacy, Cameron, and I can do to help your family.

  2. Ashley, I am so very sorry. I know first hand what you are going through. Cancer is a terrible disease. You are handling this with such grace, much like your precious mom. I am certain she is so incredibly proud of you. You have an amazing gift of writing and sharing this journey. God bless you and your family at this most difficult time. Your blog is absolutely beautiful. I will be praying for you.
    Hugs to you, Terri